Friday, November 8, 2013

35 things I would tell young Angel...

   I was thinking today of all the things I would tell young Angel that if she knew then she might be a different better person now. I would probably tell these things to 14 yr old Angel. I say that because 14 is the year before I started dating the boy that was to be my husband. Cray cray right? I'm 31 now if that tells you anything. So here we go...(in random order of course, cause I am not an organized kinda person)

  1.     Kids are great, you should have one.
  2.  Kids are great, you should never be outnumbered though (I have 3 kids)
  3. Coffee is good, don't wait til you're 31 to try it. 
  4. When you're baby is napping you should nap, yea that crap is a myth
  5. Don't be an idiot, driving isn't that scary. (I was 25 when I got my licence cause I had the fear!)   
  6. Brain Tumors are a very real and THEY CAN happen to you or someone you know 
  7. When you find out one of the little people you love most in this world has a brain tumor you will feel like your world is crumbling around you. 
  8. Let people help you. They mean well and you shouldn't be insulted. 
  9. College will be the best time of your life and will change you. 
  10. You will regret it everyday that you didn't finish. 
  11. Autism SUCKS
  12. Autism is GREAT!
  13. When you think you're done having kids, DON'T get rid of all your baby stuff. Cause there will be more...
  14. When you think you're done having kids, you're probably not. 
  15. When you do have that last and final kid, he will change your life. He will fill a void in your heart and life that you never knew was there.
  16. Dude, 3 kids is a lot. 3 Boys is even more...stop at 3!
  17. Marriage is hard. But, so worth it. 
  18. You're gonna have one crazy kid, just get used to the idea now. 
  19. Christmas lights are gonna make you happier than you ever knew was possible you big dork. 
  20. You're best friends are probably gonna be a bunch of people you'll never get to meet, and that's OK. 
  21. Having a job is cool, but staying home taking care of your kids will be better. 
  22. You will feel so lonely being a stay at home mom. But in the end it will be worth it. 
  23. Be a better house keeper. 
  24. Boys are gross
  25. If you need a moment alone, the bathroom is a perfect hideout. (only place in the house with locks on the door!)
  26. Kids will drive you absolutely crazy. Then say something so insanely hilarious you won't even care about the crazy anymore. 
  27. Wear socks more, why don't you wear socks? Its cold in the winter!
  28. They're gonna come out with this thing called Netflix, get that. Let your kid watch as much as they want so you can get crap done. Yes its OK, who cares what other people say. 
  29. 14 year old Angel...sleep'll never get another good nights sleep again. 
  30. Avoid the car rider line at all costs...or buy a taser.   
  31. Gather a group of people who will collect bail money for you cause that^^ will send you straight to jail one day. 
  32.    Babies will WRECK your body and your mind. Do something about it. 
  33. Be funnier. Making people laugh is great. 
  34. Don't be so hard on yourself. 
  35. It's gonna get better, just you wait and see...

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

What is normal?

Tonight the c-man came up to me and he had decided he was done with people treating him like he was special. He just wanted to be treated like a normal kid. Pretty much words I never wanted to hear come out of his mouth. I try my best to treat him exactly like his brothers. With the exception of having to chauffeur him around to more appointments than the others. I try to make sure everyone is happy and healthy in whatever they do. 
Well, he's tired of it. What exactly is he tired of? He's tired of having to be separated from his class to take tests. (a 504 accomodation). But he doesn't test alone, he actually is separated into a small group and one of his good buddies happens to be in that group. He went on a field trip yesterday and according to him they would not stop repeating to him everything they were gonna do. (another 504 accommodation made by me)
Wanna know what he's most ticked off about that needs to stop now?
His mom (me) needs to stop being so dang nice to him all the time. I brought his dinner plate to him tonight so he didn't spill and got the good ole "HOW DARE YOU!!" Sheesh when will I ever learn right? lol

What he doesn't know is all these people who are nice to him and treat him special? They do that to make his life just a touch easier than it could be. He may not realize it now, but I'm willing to bet he's gonna be pretty thankful for that someday. 

**Attached pictures are the lovely little note C-man wrote me tonight** could be worse. That's all I'm sayin' 

FYI....these do make me sad. But they're also very real into what the world of autism is like and thats why I like to share things of this nature...:)

Out with the OLD in with the NEW...

   I decided to do away with the Ipad challenge fundraiser on the puzzling piece page. If you bought an item from there, thank you. I know that you did not only to help me but because autism probably affects you and your family too...
  So I am going to stick with the gofundme page only. I have re-written the description and will share it here for you as well... So If you can please DONATE, if not please SHARE...EVERY LITTLE BIT HELPS!


This is Carter. He's all kinds of awesome. He's been through more in his 9 years than more people go through in their entire lives. Why? When he was 5 we found out he had a brain tumor, he had brain surgery 24 hours later to have it removed. Then 6 months later it grew back and he had a 2nd brain surgery. He bounced back better than ever. Until shortly after his 2nd surgery he was diagnosed with Autism. Autism can be great, don't get me wrong. But, it is also one tough thing to deal with after another. 
My goal is so raise enough money to buy an iPad. He's very obsessed with electronics. They are what get him through the day. When he doesn't have something like that to occupy his mind and his hands lots of things can happen. Anxiety, aggression, OCD...just every fidgety thing you can think of. And while I hate to admit it he can get violent when he's bored and doesn't have anything to occupy him like this. 
There are many articles out there about how great iPads can be for kids with Autism. Kate Goodin from says "Most of us think of the iPad as Apple's latest, coolest gadget to add to our tech arsenals. For the parents of some autistic children, however, the iPad is a near-miracle."
Fox news has even called it a "Miracle device for kids with Autism" explains how and why ipads are so useful for autistic kids just like mine...
Why iPads?iPads offer portability and flexibly that a traditional PC or laptop cannot provide to a young child. Since it utilizes a touchscreen, the iPad is more accessible for children who have learning or coordination difficulties. Most children who use the iPad find that tapping and sliding motions are much easier than typing. iPads can also go wherever the child goes, which means they have ways to calm, focus, and learn while on-the-go.

Benefits of Using the iPad for Learning
The iPad itself has a lot of benefits, but for the autistic child the iPad offers many distinct advantages:
A direct touchscreen so no mouse or stylus is required
A digital parallel to books or papers
Not having to move their eyes from a keyboard to a screen
Apps are easily organized, predictable, and accessible
Apps help break learning down into discrete chunks and topics
A child can enjoy independent learning and leisure time

Now that you have all the info, this is where you come in. You can donate (which would be great and I will be forever grateful). Or if you can't donate you can simply share this page. That would be just as helpful to help me get the word out there. 

I thank you, and Carter thanks you. Well he would if he knew about all this...if you know a kid with autism you know why I can't tell him about this until I pretty much have the iPad in my hand to give him. But I can promise that if you help me reach this goal I will post a video of him saying thank you! No matter how hard that usually is for me to get out of him ;)

**I also want to add that if we exceed our goal I will be donating all of the extra money to an Autism awareness charity!

Monday, October 28, 2013

What would you do? Autism and ipads part 2....

A lot of different things have been brought to my attention since I started this "ipad Challenge" a couple of weeks ago. Honestly things I didn't even consider when i started. All I knew is I had heard wonderful things about how magical an ipad could be in the hands of a child with autism, and I had to figure out how to get one since all of my c-man's electronics had bit the dust lately. When the boy doesn't have his electronics honestly, he's kind of a mess. Lost, bored, angry, aggressive...He NEEDS these kinds of things to keep his mind and his hands busy. So as his mom I knew it was my job to figure it out. 
So I sat down to do some research. I looked up places that provided grants for children with autism to buy an ipad. I looked up foundations that would just give you one if your child applied. I looked up contests, and games that you could win one. I applied for them all. ALL OF THEM. There were different reasons for each one that it didn't work out. The biggest reason was that there was too much need out there and not enough people to help fulfill the need. 
So that's why I settled on the iPad Challenge on the puzzling piece. It was something I could control. There were no rules, or deadlines. It all sounded so simple....Until 2 weeks passed and I'd only sold 4 items and had 56 more to sell. 60 items to sell is a lot! Especially when they're autism themed items. I can totally understand that if you aren't affected by autism why would you want to buy an autism themed piece of jewelry or t-shirt. I wouldn't. 
That's why I decided to start the gofundme page. I figured whatever money I could make there I would put back into buying things from the challenge so it would up my sales numbers. So if you didn't want to buy jewelry you could just donate a little cash and that would help out just the same. I have gotten many generous donations there. But also not enough. Because it was brought to my attention that 60 items sold well exceeds the actual cost of an iPad. When I set the amount to be raised on that site I set it high because 1. I didn't actually know how much an ipad cost, and 2. my goal was to turn the money into sales for the challenge. Then I thought well what if i made it to that goal before I made it to the ipad challenge goal? Why wouldn't I just buy an Ipad with that money?
Well, because the puzzling piece donates part of the proceeds to an autism awareness charity. But why can't I? If I exceed the price of an ipad on the go fund me page I could just turn around and give whats left to an autism awareness charity right?
There are also the naysayers who are probably just thinking..why should we giver her money for something like that? I don't blame you. I would too. BUT, the cost of something like that is way way way out of the realm of possibility for us right now. Why not just buy him an inexpensive tablet...Check that one off the list too. We bought him one for his birthday. Because of how rough he can be on things and the inexpensiveness of it, it broke within months. We sent it back to the company and got a new one, which also broke recently. That's why my mind when to an ipad. With the right case and the customer service and warranty's they provide, they can be indestructible. 
I lowered the goal on the gofundme page in case that was scaring people off. But I'm stuck. Things aren't moving fast enough for me. This is something I need to happen quickly. I know I know, all great things take time. But with a kid like mine waiting is not his forte. 
So, What would you do if you were in my shoes to help raise money for something like this?
Please comment, and share. I am willing to listen to any and all advice. I would do anything to make my boy happy. He's been through too much to not have a little joy in his life. So, what would you do?

If you wanna check out our gofundme page to see what that's all about and what you could do to help or change things..._------> 

Thank you in advance for any and all help and advice you can throw my way! <3<3<3

Friday, October 18, 2013

4 down, 56 to go!

Just got my weekly email from the puzzling piece! We have sold 4 items so far in the iPad challenge! That great! But we need a lot more, 56 to be exact. If you don't wanna buy any items but still wanna help you can donate as much or as little as you want on our gofundme page. All the info you need is here on my blog

Keep in mine this sweet face when you're thinking of helping or sharing his story...

Lol ok weird face. This was c-man last Christmas when Santa brought him the exact green sweater he'd always wanted. His Christmas list was very clear, a plain green sweater with nothing on it, no pictures, no buttons, no stripes, no nothing lol. 

Monday, October 14, 2013

Autism and iPads...

     As I've shared before C-man has autism. We actually got his official diagnosis last week. "Your son has autism." Was I upset? No, its something I've known for a long time. She just put a caption on the picture. I waited til he got home to see if he looked different to me. He didn't. Still same ole C-man, who told me about a gas price he saw in town on his way home on the bus. Gas prices are his latest obsession. It actually comes in handy, as soon as he hears my low fuel alarm go off in the car he'll say  "The times gas station near the dollar store is the cheapest at $3.21 a gallon." And that's where I go.
   Saturday night we had "the talk" with him. No not that talk, get your minds out of the gutter ;) lol...We shared with him that he had autism. He took it...well? He laughed the whole time, which is pretty normal for him. He doesn't usually display the right emotions for situations like that. He knows he can come ask questions about it whenever he needs to.
     He has always had an obsession with electronics, which is a pretty common one with kids who have autism. They keep his racing mind busy. Gives his hands something to do, and can help him with skill he has difficulty with. So in the past couple of months, our computer broke and the tablet he got for his birthday broke. An autistic kids WORST nightmare. Let me tell ya. He is bored bored bored. His meltdowns have been more frequent when he doesn't keep busy. So as his mom and his protector I decided I needed to figure out how to help him.
   Through my research I came across a site called The Puzzling Piece. They offer an opportunity called the iPad challenge strictly for kids with autism. When you sign up for the challenge you have to sell 60 of their autism themed items, when you sell your 60th piece, that's it! You get an iPad. For every 12 items you sell after that you get an iTunes gift card to help buy apps for your new iPad. How easy could that be right? Not really...60 is a big number. So that's where you come in. You can buy items from the iPad challenge section of this site and every purchase will go towards his goal of winning an iPad. You can't buy anything? You can still help! Share his story and this challenge cause you never know who you might reach that CAN help!
   What you're gonna do is go to this site Click on the tab at the top that says "products", then click on the section that says iPad challenge. There you will see a bunch of items that look like this...
When you make your purchase you put in the challengers name which would be Angel Kincaid. That way they credit the purchase towards our goal. And that's it.It will be shipped right to you. You can feel good knowing you've made a difference in an awesome kids life! Because not only are you helping to put an amazing piece of technology in my kids hand, but with every sale the puzzling piece donates to an autism awareness charity! 

iPads helps kids with Autism in so many different ways. I've already shared the ways I think it would help the C-man. But, I've also found some more info from the site I will share a couple bits from there...
Why iPads?
iPads offer portability and flexibly that a traditional PC or laptop cannot provide to a young child. Since it utilizes a touchscreen, the iPad is more accessible for children who have learning or coordination difficulties. Most children who use the iPad find that tapping and sliding motions are much easier than typing. iPads can also go wherever the child goes, which means they have ways to calm, focus, and learn while on-the-go.

Benefits of Using the iPad for Learning
The iPad itself has a lot of benefits, but for the autistic child the iPad offers many distinct advantages:
  • Portability
  • A direct touchscreen so no mouse or stylus is required
  • A digital parallel to books or papers
  • Not having to move their eyes from a keyboard to a screen
  • Apps are easily organized, predictable, and accessible
  • Apps help break learning down into discrete chunks and topics
  • A child can enjoy independent learning and leisure time
I am so thankful if you've made it this far. This is a very important opportunity for my c-man. I know this could help him in so many different ways and he would be forever grateful. So from this Autism mom I thank you in advance if you bought something, shared his story and info, or simply just read and liked my blog :)

Friday, May 31, 2013

Brain Tumor Awareness Month

    Today is the final day of Brain Tumor Awareness month. Just like last month I wanted to write a little about my family's experience with it. Most of you who know me and my family know when C-Man was 5 he was diagnosed with his first brain tumor. Six months later the tumor grew back and he had a 2nd surgery to have it removed again.
    While many know about it, not many know what got us to the day when we thought something might be wrong. I know this because it is the number one question I get asked when someone finds out that he had brain tumors. "How did you know?" I could throw a bunch of facts and percentages at you about brain tumors. But honestly I don't know all that. I just know our story. And our story may be different from another.
     For about 3 weeks he had been having some pretty serious headaches every day. Not your normal kind of headache where he says it hurts you give medicine and its over. The kind of headache that would make him drop to the floor and cry. Most of the time no medicine would touch the pain. Totally not normal for a 5 year old. He was also super clumsy. Tripping and falling a lot. He would walk at an angle so 9 times out of 10 when he was walking out a doorway he would walk into the door frame. So I took him to the Dr. and because he has pretty much year round seasonal allergies we all (including the Dr) just assumed it was that. We were probably sent home with our normal steroids and Zyrtec prescriptions.
     Then it started to happen. In just 7 days his eyes went from looking completely normal to all the way crossed inward. I took him back to the Dr. Pretty much as soon as we walked into the room the Dr noticed the eyes. So he did all sorts of tests. Following his finger, walking in a straight line, reading stuff from far away. You name it, he did it. He scheduled us for an MRI "just to be safe" and check things out. This was a Monday. The quickest appt for an MRI we could get was Wednesday morning. We went, they sedated him and took him back. We waited, and waited. They brought him out still asleep if I remember right. When he came out of sedation, wow, was he a mess. Crying like I'd never seen. We were told our family Dr would call us by the end of the day and let us know the results. So we went home to wait. Stopping on the way at Bojangles's and McDonald's for breakfast AND Lunch since Carter hadn't been allowed to eat all day. We watched cartoons, we played video games, we did anything we could to pass the time while we waited for the phone to ring. Around 3:00 the call we had been waiting for came. It was a nurse from the Dr's office asking us to come in and speak to the Dr. Clearly they tell you good news over the phone. So we got a sitter and raced over as fast as we could. The next 30 min is not something I like to relive. So I'll skip out on the details. But mainly we were told he had a mass on his brain and the next steps we needed to take, and where we needed to go.
   Within an hour we were on the road to a hospital 3 hours from home. He was admitted to the ICU right away. And the very next afternoon less than 24 hours after we had gotten the news of the brain tumor he was having a 6 hour brain surgery to have it removed. It was definitely the scariest time in mine or my husbands life. Little did we know it would be repeated 6 months later.
    Definitely not an experience I would wish on anyone. Even a scare is not something you wanna go through. And we have gone through a scare or two since. Like I said though, C-man's story and symptoms may not be the same of another kid with the same problem. But I can tell you, if it weren't for the eyes, we might have never known until it got REALLY bad. Wanna know why?

     Because this is a picture of our boy just 2 weeks before we found out he had a brain tumor.
Can you tell there's something wrong?

Yea, neither could we. 

But I am VERY happy to say he is a HEALTHY 9 year old boy now. Who has been tumor free for over 3 years. <3<3<3

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

What Autism looks like in our house...

     Today is the last day of Autism awareness month. I don't talk about Autism a lot outside of a little group I am in. Because, really, why would you want to talk about it all the time when you live it every. single. day. I am aware, trust me.
     Autism has its ups and its downs. It means something different for every family who experiences it. No two kids with Autism are cut from the same mold. I can ask my fellow autism mommies a question and most of the time they have very little advice cause they've never experienced that situation themselves.
   Don't get me wrong, Autism is great sometimes! If it weren't for Autism I wouldn't know so many things. Like did you know that there are around 8 or 9 different internet browsers? And my computer has had every one of those. Did you know that Ellen comes on every day at 5 pm, on channel 18, and Ellen is usually done talking and starts her dancing at 5:04. She is usually talking to her first guest by 5:18. She has many different segments and games, like Clumsy Thumbsy, know or go, kid ink, real paid for photos...and so on and so on. Also did you know that for two whole weeks at the beginning of April, Ellen only showed reruns and that way so upsetting?! No worries, she's back now with new episodes cause she had been in Australia. Another great thing, is if I wanna know the day of the week my birthday is gonna be on is the year 2015, he can tell me.
     The downsides are hard though. But they also motivate me to keep going and to try harder. Like now I am in the middle of an IEP mess with his school. I have been trying since he was first diagnosed at age 6 to get him an IEP. I am farther now than I have ever gotten before. He is in the evaluation process which he was denied before. I am drowning in paperwork too. In the end it will be worth it, but now? It's a pain. There are meltdowns, some minor, some major, that tend to get out of hand and make you question if you'll ever get the hang of this whole "Autism thing". There are weekly therapy appts, and frequent dr. visits. That can be both uplifting and discouraging.
    When I get into a corner where I just wanna cry cause I think I can't handle things anymore I have many Autism mommy friends in that corner with me who always know the right things to say to help me out. I am thankful for those friends every day. It's not a club you start out wanting to be in. But once you're in, its pretty awesome to be apart of. To share in the successes of other kids just like him is great. Its not what typical kids would achieve. But sharing that you're kid has finally made a friend that they talk about and and are excited about seeing and spending time with, having other members of this club to share it with is great.

     I made this collage up at the beginning of the month so people could see what Autism looked like in our house. For us, Autism is:
~Hating to take pictures, so you get a grumpy face or a surprised face cause you caught them on camera. 
~It's schedules, INSANELY DETAILED schedules
~It's weekly therapy appointments with more than one kid along. 
~It's unusual christmas and birthday lists. 
~It's Friday shirts.
~It's unusual requests, like one of these pictures is him with an overhead projector that he asked for, FOREVER. 
~It's quiet lonely moments, and loud chaotic moments. 
~It's hardly ever seeing the front of his face cause he is happier in front of some sort of electronic. 
~It's "It's 5:01, why isn't Ellen on TV yet?!?!?"
~It's paperwork, never ending, lengthy paperwork. 
~It can be exciting and heartbreaking all in the same day, heck, same hour. 

So, I am sure everyone is aware of Autism. It's everywhere lately. But this is just my little piece in hopes that the next time you are out in public and you see a kid screaming or fighting with his parents, throwing stuff, Whatever. Maybe instead of thinking, wow what a spoiled brat. Maybe think, there might be an issue there that is making that kid act like this in a public setting. (We had one of these issues recently, and it was a result of, he didn't want to be out of the house, people were standing too close to him, and it smelled weird in there). Its different for everyone. 

Monday, January 7, 2013

Yep, I said it.

Sometimes, Autism just sucks. Yep. I said it. We have been having quite the difficult time with C-man lately. So much so that our family dynamic is changing. It is a struggle almost every day to deal with the new an different thing autism is throwing our way. Hopefully with the help from our Dr. and his therapist help is on the way. But, for now, it just sucks :/

That's all for now!